Nightmares

I had two of them this morning: one in which my mother strangled a gray kitten and then I wept about it, and another in which I was trapped in a house with a creepy roommate who may have been a monster. I wandered the house, lost (my nightmares often involve me being trapped in a labyrinthine building that is impossible to navigate) but terrified of finding this person, and every time I did I was overcome with fright enough to teleport back to where I started: crouching under a dining table. My goal was to make it outside to the back yard (which was foggy and looked like a cemetery), and eventually I made it there but was still afraid of coming across the creepy roommate and starting over. I realized that he only appeared when I was most afraid he was going to, and that since I was unable to think of him without becoming afraid, all I had to do was actively disbelieve in his existence and he would never appear. Then I got confused about whether that meant he was only a figment of my imagination or whether he existed outside of my mind but my state of mind controlled his ability to appear to me. It wasn't a lucid dream, as I didn't know I was dreaming and I didn't have any control over what was going on, but I rarely have such complex and reflexive thoughts on my environment, my influence on it, and my own thoughts while I'm dreaming. Couldn't stop my mom from strangling that kitten, though. What the hell, mom?

After sewing that last dress that came out so well, I went to Jo-Ann today and used up most of my gift card on another dress pattern, a zipper, and 2.5 yards of fabric - a sturdy cotton twill in my favorite color, a medium grassy green.

I also want to sew another item for Evan and I asked him what he might like. A dress shirt, shorts, a dandy waistcoat? He said anything would be good.