THNAKSVGIVNG LOLZ

I'm in my parents' house, here in Ottumwa until Saturday evening/Sunday morning, whenever I decide to drive back home.

I just sent my boyfriend this email but I'll make it a blog post too:

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I kind of miss having intellectual conversations and writing/researching/learning with purpose, so I made a cursory search for graduate programs on communication. It turns out that the University of Iowa is hot shit with Communication, which I already knew it had a really good Comm program, and the National Communication Association has ranked it #1 in my probable area of interest, Rhetorical Criticism, so at least I got my undergraduate someplace well regarded, I guess. Hmm. I'm not ruling out grad school is all I'm saying, I don't want to be in school again for a while but I don't want to say never. Maybe some years in the future, I don't know. I don't really want to teach though. What else I'd do, I don't know yet.

I guess I'm just trying to think of what I want to do and realizing I liked Comm better than Cinema. With film I developed my eye a lot and I mostly enjoyed getting technical skills and knowledge, which is easier to quantify, but I think I liked the Comm material (and atmosphere) better, which is much more loosey-goosey and about pretty much whatever so it's a lot harder to define, but I liked it more.

I fear that I didn't put myself out there enough to make myself memorable for recommendations. I wish I'd spoken up more and made friends with more teachers but I can't go back. It's really hard for shy people. Hopefully I do interesting things in the future that show I haven't jerked off a complete waste of my time.

I also want to look into shopping around some short stories I've written and see if anyone wants to publish them. Sometime. I want to get more things written, and I want to force myself to excrete a story more than two pages long. I think I am concise to the point of telling instead of showing, which makes my stories sound more like children's fables with adult subject matter, which is a style I like but I should push myself to develop things more.

Evan, can we write each other a story for Christmas? And if we procrastinate, for our birthdays? We will never write if we don't set deadlines.

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My jaw hurt and I just realized I was clenching it.